Private or Public Education

Note: the title of this post is intentionally misleading. By Public I mean, of course, State education.

Today I was going through different websites trying to find something to read that would take my mind off my code, and found this.

Now, I'm not going to say that Rhiannon Lucy Coslett is wrong. In fact, I think she has a point in thinking that State educated students aren't as confident (actually, I would say as entitled) as private school students in the UK (this is important for later). I do think she makes a few mistakes in certain assumptions, such as the idea that the reason for State educated people having a lower salary is lower confidence: although this could be true, I'm almost convinced that it has more to do with connections. People born into families with money usually know more people with money in different industries.

But something I find quite funny is this idea of people coming from state schools not feeling comfortable in expensive/upper class (?)/"swanky" settings.

Although the example of her friend is familiar to me, I'm not 100% sure that this is the case because the place they were going to was expensive. I am chronically insecure, and for years I would have rather waited out in the cold than go into any restaurant on my own, let alone one where I had to ask for a table. However, after several years of enduring chronically late friends (you know who you are, don't be offended if you aren't) and living on my own in a foreign country, I have had to learn, not just to wait in a restaurant on my own, but also to have food on my own, coffee on my own and (only very rarely) a drink on my own. Once you do it a few times it stops feeling uncomfortable. And quite honestly, if I have to do it, I rather it be in an expensive bar/restaurant/caf'é, where it's more comfortable and staff usually make you feel welcome even if you're on your own.

I vividly remember an occasion in which, for some reason, I told my dad that he wouldn't go into a luxury shop in an airport. He asked me why, and I don't know what I said, but it probably amounted to "you're not dressed to that standard and we don't have enough money to walk into such a place". He almost laughed at me. And of course he went into the shop, and asked about a couple of things, and then left without buying anything. Now, I suspect he only did this to teach me a lesson: part of fitting in with rich/upper class people is feigning entitlement. No one cares what you're wearing when you go into a shop as long as you are confident and act as though you can afford what's being sold. I have been able to confirm this many times after that, both through rich/upper class people that I've hung out with and through walking into places with confidence. Look like you know where you're going and, most of the time, no one will bother you.

But the thing that got to me the most about the article was that comment by a state school journalist outside the Oxford Union "this place is not meant for me". See, Coslett has interpreted this as the other journalist being uncomfortable because he didn't feel confident enough. And obviously, I can't fault her in this conclusion because I don't know this man, and I wasn't there. But here's the thing: I moved to Cambridge at the beginning of October to pursue a PhD in Biochemistry. I can unashamedly say that I love Cambridge: it's small, which makes my life easy; it's lively enough that I don't get bored; it's close to London (in case I do get bored), it's beautiful, the people I've met are great, and professionally (or academically? For me both things are the same right now) it's fantastic: people who know and care about what they're doing, good facilities, etc. However, some of the undergraduates I've met are entitled brats who think they're better than everyone else, and I still feel like this place isn't meant for me. And what I mean by this isn't that I am uncomfortable here: far from it. I fucking own this place. I am as good as anybody here, and I deserve to be here, and I'm going to make the most of it. But a place that trains its students to believe that they're better and smarter than students at other universities, a place that is so entrenched in the past that grace is still read at some formal dinners (and gowns worn!), a place that instills a sense of entitlement into its students making them believe that just because they attended that university they are automatically deserving of more than their peers, a place where class and money are still extremely important and apparent (and I feel sorry for those who think they are not: living in Cambridge comfortably is extremely expensive, not to mention the cost of formal dinners, May Balls, etc.) is not a place for me. I never used to say this (because people would say I am lying) but I come from the working class. This doesn't make me embarrassed: in fact, I got where I am because I'm as good or better than those who had a private education and connections. So when I say "this place is not for me" it isn't because I feel uncomfortable because I'm not confident. It's because I don't like dealing with other people's bullshit entitlement.

Also: I learnt to dream from my family, and my books, and my friends and my travels and myself. My education allowed those dreams to flourish, but dreaming doesn't need to be taught. That's one thing you teach yourself.