Lucky

When I heard the news about Inverdale saying to Andy Murray that he was the first tennis player to win two Olympic golds, and Murray replying ‘Well, I think the Williams sisters have 4 each’ (although Inverdale may have been referring to individual tennis gold, of which the Williams sisters only have one each, having three each for doubles), or something to that effect, I didn’t think “How good of Murray” or “Murray’s such a feminist” (!) or “Inverdale is a sexist pig” (even though it is quite clear from his comments in this case and elsewhere that he is most certainly sexist). My first thought was “How ignorant is this man?”. And then I realised, Inverdale is not ignorant at all, and he was most likely perfectly aware of the Williams’ wins. But I’m actually kind of happy that my first reaction was to think of ignorance and not sexism. Because it points to how lucky I am.

I come from a household where it would be inconceivable not to know about the Williams sisters. I also come from a household where I read Gerald Durrell, sure, and I also read Jane Goodall. Where my favourite Roald Dahl book was Matilda (cos who wouldn’t love a genius little girl who at five years old had read a list of books I still haven’t gotten to at 25?). For a long time Lynne Margulis and Barbara McClintock were my biology heroes (they still are, but others have been added to the list), and I do not remember knowing about Watson and Crick without knowing about Rosalind Franklin. Susan Sontag and Toni Morrison and Maya Angelou and Karen Blixen and Harper Lee were read and discussed and respected (many others were too, these are the ones that come to mind) not instead of, but alongside male writers.

I was never told that there was anything I couldn’t do because I was a girl (except play football, my dad on one occasion said to me I was a girl and therefore couldn’t play football, but by the time he said this it had been established independently that I was an absolute disaster at any sports requiring hand eye coordination, so I never took this to be an observation particularly dependent on my gender), and nothing ever happened to me (in fact, I can almost definitely say that nothing has happened to me yet) to make me even consider that because I am a woman my opportunities are diminished. By this, I don’t mean that discrimination doesn’t exist, and I don’t even mean that I have definitely not been subjected to it, I just mean that I have not experienced it, or if I have, I have not felt it. And for this I consider myself incredibly lucky.

I am lucky in that, as much as possible considering our society, I grew up in a gender neutral environment when it came to achievement. I was good (really good) at science. I was also good at humanities. My parents encouraged me to do science, and if I didn’t know them I might say that they were disappointed I chose biology instead of physics or maths.

I was lucky. I was never told that there was anything I couldn’t do, and if there was something I wanted to learn I was encouraged to (I spent 10 years in music school despite my lack of talent). I was always told that the only important thing was that I be happy, and that if I do something I do it well and I do it right. The only thing I remember clearly being told in terms of job prospects is that I should do what I wanted, but that I should be aware that if I chose a profession that required manual labour, I’d likely be bad at it. I’d probably be better off in some sort of academic pursuit. (This was my mum. She knows me well.)

I’m lucky. I’m lucky that I know about the Williams sisters. I’m lucky that I read female authors as often as I read male authors (and that I grew up with Harry Potter). I’m lucky that I have read so many books with female protagonists (written both by men and women) or with female heroes that I’ve never felt that there was any exclusion of my gender in that sense. I’m also lucky that it never occurred to me that just because a protagonist wasn’t a woman I couldn’t identify with them. I’m lucky that nobody ever told me that in order to look up to someone I had to consider their gender first, especially when it comes to science (cos unfortunately, there are still a lot more men than women who are famous scientists). I am lucky that I was often told about female athletes and that I was also told about female scientists. But most of all, I am lucky that being a woman has, until now, never stopped me from doing anything. Because being a woman is pretty great.